I was craving some of my mom's caramel corn and, thanks to my mother-in-law for the popcorn popper, I decided to whip up a batch. Everything's going peachy, and I'm singing along with Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, which is playing in the background. It's all very nostalgic for me, the popcorn, the movie, the mess I'm making in the kitchen.
But things just didn't live up to my expectations. Except the mess---that one was quite royal.
For starters, I almost gagged when I saw the recipe called for 2 cups of margarine. 2 cups! I can feel my arteries clogging already. But I put it all in anyway, and poured the Karo syrup...
...and suddenly there was corn syrup all over my hands. No big deal, or so I thought...
...but it didn't come off. I mean, I washed my hands no less than SIX TIMES trying to get rid of the syrup, and the sticky part did come off, but it felt like my hands were covered in some sort of slippery sheen that wouldn't come off. No matter how much I scrubbed and scrubbed. I even tried acetone. All I did was send my skin well on its way to dryness, and yet the slippery feeling is still there.
Sigh. All right, so I have some sort of mysterious chemical eating at my skin. I'll get over it. Hey, why does the popcorn shrink when you pour the caramel over it? I don't remember that happening before. But oh well, let's bake it and it'll still taste good.
(1 hour later.)
I've finished the movie and practiced my violin. I'm feeling pretty good about myself. Let's go check on the popcorn.
Who here thinks it's a good idea to bake the caramel corn on wax paper? My mom does it. At least, that's what I thought, but the wax paper seems to have melded with the cookie sheet. Hmmm...
...and to top it all off, the caramel corn doesn't taste quite as good as I remember. I guess when the recipe says "3-4 cups of brown sugar" they're really looking for the 4 cups. (So much for trying to cut down the sugar a bit.) And it's sticky. And I've made an even bigger mess. And my hands are still feeling slippery yet dry now because of all the soap. (What IS this stuff?)
I think I want to cry.
But I won't, because it's just popcorn, right? Sniff. I want my mommy! Or at least some of mommy's popcorn.
Maybe it'll taste better tomorrow.
3 comments:
Well here is an E for effort, and a A+ for hilarious blog post - though not so hilarious about the sticky hands part and the popcorn not exceeding your expectations - but it made me smile all the same because you're oh so witty.
Hopefully the popcorn DOES taste better tomorrow, because it looks dang good. And if ANYONE can afford a few extra calories, I nominate you. If only I ran and exercised and well looked as good as you ;)
I've used wax paper to cool it on, but never to cook it on. Hmmm. Sorry, I know the feeling. I've had a few terrible, I don't know what went wrong, experiences in the kitchen myself.
Hey, at least you poured the syrup on your hands cold! I've poured the caramel mixture on my hands when it's boiling. AAAAAHH! And yes, you really do need all the butter, but we normally just make half a batch (and sometimes even more brown sugar than they estimate), and it seems to be enough. Unless you have a lot of guests coming to play. =)
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